It is with great sentimentality and appreciation that we here at Stache World officially announce the end of Mustache-A-Thon 4.  It was a delight, my friends, an unadulterated delight.

In the end, our intrepid growers raised over $9000 for the inspiring, creative, and TOTALLY FREE educational programming that 826michigan offers to area students.  The final stache weigh-in at Arbor Brewing Company was charged with an atmosphere of respect, camaraderie, and mustachery.  For many, the event marked the poignant end of a noble mustache.  For a dedicated few, it was only the beginning of a lifelong obsession.

Stache World would like to give special recognition to this year’s top fundraisers: Jim Dowling, Dylan Goings, Sarah Johnson, and Andrew Juhl.  Kudos to you!  Kudos to the philanthropic souls who made your mustaches towering bastions of literacy!

So, until next year, Stache World would like to remind you of the MOST IMPORTANT thing about mustaches: they grow on you.

Greetings Stache Friends, Stache Fans, and all other Stache Followers!

Our very exciting interview series for Mustache-A-Thon 4 comes to an end with this DELIGHTFUL look into the brain and inner follicles of Forest Juziuk.  Won’t you join us?

SW:  Hi there Forest, so pleased you could join us!  By now, pretty much everyone knows about Stache World – and from what we gather, you may be even BETTER known than we are!  Still, let’s pretend we’re strangers and unaware of each other by reputation.  Tell us a little about yourself.

FJ: Born in Port Huron, MI. An underground culture obsessive, I just can’t hang with Lady Gaga and fashion and all that stuff. So, I act as manager/buyer at Wazoo Records (one of 56 record stores left on the planet and the oldest one in Ann Arbor), wheeling & dealing with about ten excellent independent labels & distributors.

By night, I am a “Disc Jock,” playing psychedelic jams & cosmic jazz for very beautiful people; serve as one of several organizers of the experimental film night HOTT LAVA; and put on shows with my best gal, Erin Nicole Bratkovich, and a few indispensable pals. Most recently, I was on the Ann Arbor Film Festival’s experimental film committee & a final programmer. I’m about to embark on a short tour with the Thrill Jockey band Mi Ami.

SW: Wow.  Just so you know, Stache World has a night job, too.  We fashion topiary gardens in the likeness of lemmings.  Actually, it’s not a night job, so much as something we do clandestinely and without permission. Our day job, supporting 826michigan’s mustache-related endeavors, is TOTALLY authorized, though.  What are your impressions of 826michigan?

FJ: As a fan of Wholphin & McSweeneys, I was well aware of 826 Valencia & really loved the vibe of the store/writing center which is a great dichotomy of hilarious vs. sincere. When word of an 826michigan came down the vine, it was genuinely exciting; that 826 is so community-based makes it an effort close to my heart.

SW:  We agree.  The only thing closer to our hearts is a Really Nice mustache.  Speaking of which, have you seen our incredible mustache growers this year?  Which stache do you like best?

FJ: Justin Nichols and Daniel Trump have natural mustache personality. I ran into Phil Dokas last weekend & could not figure out what he was doing with his facial hair so I’m relieved to see it’s 826-related. But I really dig Aaron Shaul’s mustache/hair combo. As a balding male, it’s quite inspiring. And here’s hoping Jeremy Peters keeps the mustache when all this is over; he is transformed.

SW: We here at Stache World believe that mustache growing tends to be transformative for all parties involved.  What’s your most emotional mustache experience?

FJ:  The simple act of being able to grow a legit mustache is a HUGE feat for any young man. Graduating from “dirt-stache” (age 14) to “rat-stache” (age 17) and then to full-on mustache (age 27 — these things take time), you might walk into your parents’ kitchen during a holiday visit & be greeted by an excited “THAT’S AWESOME!” from your pappy. That’s a good feeling. On the other end of the spectrum, absent-mindedly shaving off one side of my mustache caused an inordinate amount of psychic pain that I don’t care to revisit.

SW:  We won’t press the matter, then.  One last question for you.

What if the story of Rapunzel were changed so that she had to climb up the preternaturally long mustache hairs of her beloved prince?  Would the story gain or lose charm?

FJ: I can’t help but imagine there is a non-western mustache-inspired take on this classic tale.

SW:  Good Call!  It looks like we have some research to do here at Stache World.  Forest, we really appreciate your joining us today!  See you later, mustache-a-gator.

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That’s it for this week!  Tune in next week for the LAST UPDATE of Mustache-A-Thon 4!!

And if you haven’t donated yet, why not pick a stache to back from our growers page?  You can also donate directly below.  Thanks!

Greetings Mustache Fans!

This week our M-A-T weigh-in at Arbor Brewing Company was especially exciting, as it was the celebrity look-a-like photo contest!  Take a gander at our growers page to get a sense of the pure, unadulterated, stache-magic.

Stache grower Dan Newman / Larry Bird provides this dramatic account of the proceedings:

The Monday, April 5th Mustache-a-thon Mustache Weigh-In Celebrity Photo Contest
By Larry Bird and Dan Newman

Roughly 9pm, Amanda Uhle demands attention from the crowd of mustache growers and friends.  “We are announcing the winners of the look-a-like contest,” she announces in her announcer voice.  “Grand,” I say to myself, “after the good reception my costume has received from all-star fundraiser Dylan Goings, and several other upstanding individuals, I am sure to receive a prize”.  But, like Larry “the Legend” Bird, you are never guaranteed a win.

Flashback to the 1985 NBA Finals, Game 6.  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar puts up 29 points.  I go 12 for 29; my elbow can’t take it.  We lose the championship.  Next year, I tell myself.  Next year.

“Third place,” Amanda announces, again in her announcer voice, “to the military fatigue wearer.” “I can understand that,” I say to myself.  I sit alone in Arbor Brewing Company, talking to myself, looking for approval from others.  This contest is my only way out from my solitude.  My loneliness.  Will I find my escape?

Flashback to the 1986 NBA Finals, again Game 6.  I receive the Finals MVP, and my third consecutive league MVP award.  I averaged 24 points, almost 50% shooting.  Another championship ring.  Will I ever achieve this greatness again?

“Second place,”  Amanda declares, in her declarative voice, “to the Frida Kahlo character.” “I did like that costume,” I whisper in my mind.  I receive stares from the other bar patrons.  Did I say that out loud?  Do they know something I don’t?  The secret to meaningful relationships?  The winner of first place in the look-a-like contest?

Flashback to the 1987 NBA Finals, and another trying Game 6.  We were winning 56-51 at the half.  However, Magic and Kareem took over in the second half, and we lost 106-93.  Heartbreak.

“First place,” Amanda dictates from the decision passed down to her, “to the Art Garfunkel character”.  Heartbreak.  I now know what it means to lose in Game 6 of the NBA Finals.  So close to achieving greatness, yet it all means nothing in the end.  I drink from my oversized No Parking Pilsner, in my dark corner.  I ask the questions anyone else would in this situation; why, how, who?  No one is there to answer them.  It is my mustache and I, against the world.  “Next year,” I tell it.  It bristles with virulence.

Well I can’t say I’m happy with the outcome of the contest, I respect the decision of the judges.  But in the end, it’s not about who had the best costume during an 826 fundraiser.  It’s about all the great programs 826 runs.  And even though Larry Bird may have lost to military fatigue wearer, Frida Kahlo, and Art Garfunkel, at least everyone can agree that Paul Simon would have beaten any of those characters.

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That’s it for this week.  Tune in next week for the FINAL UPDATE of Mustache-A-Thon 4!  Also, seeing as how this is the last week of the ‘A-Thon, you might as well pitch in a few bucks!