Greetings Mustache Fans!

This week our M-A-T weigh-in at Arbor Brewing Company was especially exciting, as it was the celebrity look-a-like photo contest!  Take a gander at our growers page to get a sense of the pure, unadulterated, stache-magic.

Stache grower Dan Newman / Larry Bird provides this dramatic account of the proceedings:

The Monday, April 5th Mustache-a-thon Mustache Weigh-In Celebrity Photo Contest
By Larry Bird and Dan Newman

Roughly 9pm, Amanda Uhle demands attention from the crowd of mustache growers and friends.  “We are announcing the winners of the look-a-like contest,” she announces in her announcer voice.  “Grand,” I say to myself, “after the good reception my costume has received from all-star fundraiser Dylan Goings, and several other upstanding individuals, I am sure to receive a prize”.  But, like Larry “the Legend” Bird, you are never guaranteed a win.

Flashback to the 1985 NBA Finals, Game 6.  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar puts up 29 points.  I go 12 for 29; my elbow can’t take it.  We lose the championship.  Next year, I tell myself.  Next year.

“Third place,” Amanda announces, again in her announcer voice, “to the military fatigue wearer.” “I can understand that,” I say to myself.  I sit alone in Arbor Brewing Company, talking to myself, looking for approval from others.  This contest is my only way out from my solitude.  My loneliness.  Will I find my escape?

Flashback to the 1986 NBA Finals, again Game 6.  I receive the Finals MVP, and my third consecutive league MVP award.  I averaged 24 points, almost 50% shooting.  Another championship ring.  Will I ever achieve this greatness again?

“Second place,”  Amanda declares, in her declarative voice, “to the Frida Kahlo character.” “I did like that costume,” I whisper in my mind.  I receive stares from the other bar patrons.  Did I say that out loud?  Do they know something I don’t?  The secret to meaningful relationships?  The winner of first place in the look-a-like contest?

Flashback to the 1987 NBA Finals, and another trying Game 6.  We were winning 56-51 at the half.  However, Magic and Kareem took over in the second half, and we lost 106-93.  Heartbreak.

“First place,” Amanda dictates from the decision passed down to her, “to the Art Garfunkel character”.  Heartbreak.  I now know what it means to lose in Game 6 of the NBA Finals.  So close to achieving greatness, yet it all means nothing in the end.  I drink from my oversized No Parking Pilsner, in my dark corner.  I ask the questions anyone else would in this situation; why, how, who?  No one is there to answer them.  It is my mustache and I, against the world.  “Next year,” I tell it.  It bristles with virulence.

Well I can’t say I’m happy with the outcome of the contest, I respect the decision of the judges.  But in the end, it’s not about who had the best costume during an 826 fundraiser.  It’s about all the great programs 826 runs.  And even though Larry Bird may have lost to military fatigue wearer, Frida Kahlo, and Art Garfunkel, at least everyone can agree that Paul Simon would have beaten any of those characters.

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That’s it for this week.  Tune in next week for the FINAL UPDATE of Mustache-A-Thon 4!  Also, seeing as how this is the last week of the ‘A-Thon, you might as well pitch in a few bucks!