Bio
Derek has considered the mustache his mortal enemy ever since he could grow facial hair. A frequent and talented beard-grower, his unreliable upper-lip has foiled his plans for facial hair fame and glory at every turn by failing to offer anything beyond a few sprouting hairs. This frustrates Derek because his dad wore a proud mustache throughout Derek’s childhood, making plain that the ability to grow a similarly proud mustache lay dormant in his genes.
The mustache’s refusal to cooperate has gone on long enough. This March, Derek knows that he will at last vanquish his foe. With just the right amount of hard work, dedication, free ABC beer, and donations, he will succeed at growing a mustache. He looks forward to your support in this endeavor.
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