It is with great sentimentality and appreciation that we here at Stache World officially announce the end of Mustache-A-Thon 4.  It was a delight, my friends, an unadulterated delight.

In the end, our intrepid growers raised over $9000 for the inspiring, creative, and TOTALLY FREE educational programming that 826michigan offers to area students.  The final stache weigh-in at Arbor Brewing Company was charged with an atmosphere of respect, camaraderie, and mustachery.  For many, the event marked the poignant end of a noble mustache.  For a dedicated few, it was only the beginning of a lifelong obsession.

Stache World would like to give special recognition to this year’s top fundraisers: Jim Dowling, Dylan Goings, Sarah Johnson, and Andrew Juhl.  Kudos to you!  Kudos to the philanthropic souls who made your mustaches towering bastions of literacy!

So, until next year, Stache World would like to remind you of the MOST IMPORTANT thing about mustaches: they grow on you.

Greetings Stache Friends, Stache Fans, and all other Stache Followers!

Our very exciting interview series for Mustache-A-Thon 4 comes to an end with this DELIGHTFUL look into the brain and inner follicles of Forest Juziuk.  Won’t you join us?

SW:  Hi there Forest, so pleased you could join us!  By now, pretty much everyone knows about Stache World – and from what we gather, you may be even BETTER known than we are!  Still, let’s pretend we’re strangers and unaware of each other by reputation.  Tell us a little about yourself.

FJ: Born in Port Huron, MI. An underground culture obsessive, I just can’t hang with Lady Gaga and fashion and all that stuff. So, I act as manager/buyer at Wazoo Records (one of 56 record stores left on the planet and the oldest one in Ann Arbor), wheeling & dealing with about ten excellent independent labels & distributors.

By night, I am a “Disc Jock,” playing psychedelic jams & cosmic jazz for very beautiful people; serve as one of several organizers of the experimental film night HOTT LAVA; and put on shows with my best gal, Erin Nicole Bratkovich, and a few indispensable pals. Most recently, I was on the Ann Arbor Film Festival’s experimental film committee & a final programmer. I’m about to embark on a short tour with the Thrill Jockey band Mi Ami.

SW: Wow.  Just so you know, Stache World has a night job, too.  We fashion topiary gardens in the likeness of lemmings.  Actually, it’s not a night job, so much as something we do clandestinely and without permission. Our day job, supporting 826michigan’s mustache-related endeavors, is TOTALLY authorized, though.  What are your impressions of 826michigan?

FJ: As a fan of Wholphin & McSweeneys, I was well aware of 826 Valencia & really loved the vibe of the store/writing center which is a great dichotomy of hilarious vs. sincere. When word of an 826michigan came down the vine, it was genuinely exciting; that 826 is so community-based makes it an effort close to my heart.

SW:  We agree.  The only thing closer to our hearts is a Really Nice mustache.  Speaking of which, have you seen our incredible mustache growers this year?  Which stache do you like best?

FJ: Justin Nichols and Daniel Trump have natural mustache personality. I ran into Phil Dokas last weekend & could not figure out what he was doing with his facial hair so I’m relieved to see it’s 826-related. But I really dig Aaron Shaul’s mustache/hair combo. As a balding male, it’s quite inspiring. And here’s hoping Jeremy Peters keeps the mustache when all this is over; he is transformed.

SW: We here at Stache World believe that mustache growing tends to be transformative for all parties involved.  What’s your most emotional mustache experience?

FJ:  The simple act of being able to grow a legit mustache is a HUGE feat for any young man. Graduating from “dirt-stache” (age 14) to “rat-stache” (age 17) and then to full-on mustache (age 27 — these things take time), you might walk into your parents’ kitchen during a holiday visit & be greeted by an excited “THAT’S AWESOME!” from your pappy. That’s a good feeling. On the other end of the spectrum, absent-mindedly shaving off one side of my mustache caused an inordinate amount of psychic pain that I don’t care to revisit.

SW:  We won’t press the matter, then.  One last question for you.

What if the story of Rapunzel were changed so that she had to climb up the preternaturally long mustache hairs of her beloved prince?  Would the story gain or lose charm?

FJ: I can’t help but imagine there is a non-western mustache-inspired take on this classic tale.

SW:  Good Call!  It looks like we have some research to do here at Stache World.  Forest, we really appreciate your joining us today!  See you later, mustache-a-gator.

---

That’s it for this week!  Tune in next week for the LAST UPDATE of Mustache-A-Thon 4!!

And if you haven’t donated yet, why not pick a stache to back from our growers page?  You can also donate directly below.  Thanks!

Greetings Mustache Fans!

This week our M-A-T weigh-in at Arbor Brewing Company was especially exciting, as it was the celebrity look-a-like photo contest!  Take a gander at our growers page to get a sense of the pure, unadulterated, stache-magic.

Stache grower Dan Newman / Larry Bird provides this dramatic account of the proceedings:

The Monday, April 5th Mustache-a-thon Mustache Weigh-In Celebrity Photo Contest
By Larry Bird and Dan Newman

Roughly 9pm, Amanda Uhle demands attention from the crowd of mustache growers and friends.  “We are announcing the winners of the look-a-like contest,” she announces in her announcer voice.  “Grand,” I say to myself, “after the good reception my costume has received from all-star fundraiser Dylan Goings, and several other upstanding individuals, I am sure to receive a prize”.  But, like Larry “the Legend” Bird, you are never guaranteed a win.

Flashback to the 1985 NBA Finals, Game 6.  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar puts up 29 points.  I go 12 for 29; my elbow can’t take it.  We lose the championship.  Next year, I tell myself.  Next year.

“Third place,” Amanda announces, again in her announcer voice, “to the military fatigue wearer.” “I can understand that,” I say to myself.  I sit alone in Arbor Brewing Company, talking to myself, looking for approval from others.  This contest is my only way out from my solitude.  My loneliness.  Will I find my escape?

Flashback to the 1986 NBA Finals, again Game 6.  I receive the Finals MVP, and my third consecutive league MVP award.  I averaged 24 points, almost 50% shooting.  Another championship ring.  Will I ever achieve this greatness again?

“Second place,”  Amanda declares, in her declarative voice, “to the Frida Kahlo character.” “I did like that costume,” I whisper in my mind.  I receive stares from the other bar patrons.  Did I say that out loud?  Do they know something I don’t?  The secret to meaningful relationships?  The winner of first place in the look-a-like contest?

Flashback to the 1987 NBA Finals, and another trying Game 6.  We were winning 56-51 at the half.  However, Magic and Kareem took over in the second half, and we lost 106-93.  Heartbreak.

“First place,” Amanda dictates from the decision passed down to her, “to the Art Garfunkel character”.  Heartbreak.  I now know what it means to lose in Game 6 of the NBA Finals.  So close to achieving greatness, yet it all means nothing in the end.  I drink from my oversized No Parking Pilsner, in my dark corner.  I ask the questions anyone else would in this situation; why, how, who?  No one is there to answer them.  It is my mustache and I, against the world.  “Next year,” I tell it.  It bristles with virulence.

Well I can’t say I’m happy with the outcome of the contest, I respect the decision of the judges.  But in the end, it’s not about who had the best costume during an 826 fundraiser.  It’s about all the great programs 826 runs.  And even though Larry Bird may have lost to military fatigue wearer, Frida Kahlo, and Art Garfunkel, at least everyone can agree that Paul Simon would have beaten any of those characters.

---

That’s it for this week.  Tune in next week for the FINAL UPDATE of Mustache-A-Thon 4!  Also, seeing as how this is the last week of the ‘A-Thon, you might as well pitch in a few bucks!

Hello mustache boosters!

Just 24 days ago, our mustache growers were clean-shaven.  Their faces were like the snow-blank landscape of winter: dormant, featureless, lacking any notable life.  And now, and NOW, dear friends, a warm and encouraging mustache-spring has most certainly arrived.  Prepare to nod your heads in agreement as you marvel at the elegant, captivating staches on our growers page.

Mustaches THIS good-looking can only mean one thing… our ‘A-Thon is nearing it’s end!  Only two weeks of “Follicle Fever” remain until our growers will (hopefully not) shave and return to their facial habits of preference.

If you haven’t yet, please donate!  Remember, the Mustache-A-Thon supports 826michigan’s valuable two-fold mission of improving young people’s academic performance AND inspiring them to new heights of creativity and personhood.

Greetings lip-hair lovers!

This week, we’re continuing our interview series with Mustache Grower Extraordinaire of M-A-Ts past, Josh Cohen.  Read on for some not-to-be-missed fundraising tips!

SW: Hi there, Josh, and welcome!  Why don’t we start off with introductions.  We are, of course, Stache World.  You are…

JC: I am Josh Cohen… father, ecologist, and mustache philanthropist.

SW: Delightful!  Here at Stache World we find all forms of philanthropy not related to mustaches dreadfully boring.  And you, sir, are quite the mustache philanthropist, holding the current record for most lucrative stache grower of all time!  Well, besides John D. Rockefeller, but he died before Mustache-A-Thon was born.  How did you earn your distinction?

JC: I launched a multi-media, multi-generational campaign fueled by obnoxious, shameless persistence.

SW: Sounds like a presidential election, but with a mustache.  How exciting!  Pretend that you’re not talking to Stache World and that we have NO IDEA about the Mustache-A-Thon.  How would you get us interested?

JC: How can you not be interested in 826michigan? Youth literacy, mustaches, and robots together at last! Honestly, it was easy raising funds for 826: they have so many great free programs and dedicated volunteers helping kids every day.

SW: Yes.  They are much more successful than our cousin Harold’s non-profit, which has many dedicated kids helping robots with great free mustaches.  What was your favorite fundraising tactic?

JC: I was part of the West Side ‘Stache farmers, a mustache intelligentsia dedicated to mustache growth and consciousness. Inspired by our mustaches, we delved into creative endeavors to further mustache awareness, including a collection of mustache haikus and a thought-provoking film on mustaches.

SW: We hope there are some current growers reading!  It sure would be great to see more mustache-themed creative endeavors in the near future.  Just one last question: if you could choose one mustachioed historical figure to be your best friend, who would it be?

JC: Tough question, Burt Reynolds and Sam Elliot come to mind but I have to go with Salvador Dali.

SW:  Surreal.  Well, Josh, it’s been a delight!  Thanks so much for your time.

---

That’s it for this week!  Stay tuned for Monday’s update to our grower profiles!

-SW

Greetings Stache Fans!

As we draw ever nearer the 15 day milestone, our growers are finding themselves with more and more hair on their lips.

“Oh my,” some fret, “what ever will I do with all this EXTRA hair?”

Great news!  I asked my old friend, Mario, to give you some suggestions:

Here at Stache World, we’ve always found the term “stache farmer” quite delightful.  It has a certain productive connotation that we can dig.

Never have our heroic Mustache-A-Thoners been more akin to farmers than NOW, the “dirt stache” phase.  Of course, you are probably here because there’s a certain grower who directed you to us to make a donation.  Kudos!  Please, go about your business.  But when you’re done, we Highly Recommend that you take a look at our “farmers” page to see ALL the awkward, adolescent mustaches.

This week’s Mustache-A-Thon meeting, by the way, was an unparalleled delight.  People willing to sacrifice their upper lips for charity tend to be very witty and charming.  Go figure.

Also, former 826michigan Volunteer of the Month and Board Member Don Woods was ALMOST ARRESTED by former 826michigan Interim Executive Director and Board Member Angela Kujava, but luckily he presented his philanthropic mustache growing license (yes, they exist – ask a farmer) in the nick of time!

Greetings Stache Fans!

The super-nice folks at Heritage Newspapers put up some videos for us:

Meet the Growers

Using a Mustache to Raise Money

My friends, the 2010 826michigan Mustache-A-Thon has officially begun!

Our opening hair-a-monies were a smashing success.  After spending many hours scrubbing each follicle to the point of shining-with-glee, our growers met at the Arbor Brewing Company at 8:26 to present their upper lips for weigh-in.  Before long, the room was absolutely packed with eager, clean-shaven faces.

The group settled in with their (free) beer and good cheer and got to know their comrades-in-mustache.  Waxen mustaches were distributed to those growers interested in prosthesis.  They tasted like grapes.

Before too long, 826michigan’s Executive Director, Amanda Uhle, addressed the gathered growers with encouragement and fundraising tips.  A torch was passed from one generation of compassionate Mustache-A-Thoner to the next.

Please visit our Growers page to take a look at this year’s M-A-T participants!  If you think a particular face has especial potential for an epic stache, feel free to donate.  Don’t forget, 100% of the funds raised go to support 826michigan’s broad range of creative writing and literacy programs for students between 6-18!

Amanda Uhle is the Executive Director of 826michigan and Official Contact Person for the Mustache-A-Thon. Since she’s kind of in charge, Stache World decided that she’d be an excellent first stop for our interview series! Reader, read on.

SW:  Hi there, Amanda.  Before we dive in to the Really Important questions, why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?

AU:  Let me start by saying that I’m happy to be your first interview. I’d love to tell you about myself, but since it’s March 1 today, my entire personal life this month has been converted to mustache-centric topics.  For instance, I have a baby daughter, and I just bought her some cute mustache clothes.  I’m also a big fan of Arbor Brewing Company’s Sacred Cow I.P.A. which I plan to order at next week’s Opening Hair-A-Monies.  And, just speaking in general terms, I love a man with a mustache!

SW:  You’re right that there is probably no better combination than mustaches, I.P.A.s, and babies dressed in novelty clothing.  If there were a commercial for Stache World, those things would definitely be in it.

Amanda, many of our readers have heard of Movember, and may be wondering if the Mustache-A-Thon is also a “prostate thing.”  What would you say to those people?

AU:  I would say that 826michigan’s Mustache-A-Thon is strictly an above-the-collarbone event.

SW:  Classy.  You know, here at Stache World, we find nothing classier than a good, old-fashioned, above-the-collarbone mustache.  Unfortunately, we’ve noticed a shocking trend away from facial hair in U.S. Presidents.  Out of sheer curiosity, do you think a mustache could improve Barack Obama’s image?

AU:  Actually, only Presidents Taft, Cleveland and T. Roosevelt had mustaches.  A few others had beards (notably Lincoln), but beards don’t count for our purposes.  Having not been alive during any mustachioed president’s term, I’ll have to defer to older, wiser friends on that one.

SW:  I’m certain they would say that yes, President Obama would look stunning and debonair in a mustache.  In fact, Amanda, YOU might look pretty debonair in a stache yourself.  If you had to choose one, would you go for a Fu Manchu or a Handlebar mustache?

AU:  Great question.  The Fu Manchu is slightly more attractive in my opinion, but there’s much to be said for the commitment of the handlebar stache’s long growing-out period.  Since the Mustache-A-Thon only lasts 5 weeks, I’d probably have to go with the more-achievable goal of the Fu Manchu, but I give major respect to anyone who can do a HB in five weeks or who maintains the stache after our little contest.

SW:  And who knows?  Five weeks is definitely long enough to catch stache fever.*

Last but not least, what advice do you have for someone looking to get involved in this year’s Mustache-A-Thon?

AU:  It’s easy!  Email me at amanda@826michigan.org.  Participating mustache growers should also plan to arrive at Arbor Brewing Company at 8:26 p.m. Monday, March 8 and for the five following Mondays. We’ll give you a free beer (or root beer!) and take a lovely photo of you; your friends and family will make copious and generous contributions; and your whiskers will do the rest!

---

Clearly, Amanda is a delight.  Stache growers, you can hang out with her EVERY Monday night during the Mustache-A-Thon and enjoy that sweet, free pint of beer.

‘Til next time!

-SW

*No, by “stache fever” we do not mean scabies.  That takes considerably less than 5 weeks to catch.