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TuesdayMarch 2017

From the Desk of Dr. T. Blotch

Dear Guileless Readers,  

I write to you today in an effort to help — this is not something I enjoy doing. But I have decided to take it upon myself to bring you wholly unsophisticated bunch up to speed (the lightspeed at which my fine tastes mature) with new breakthroughs in the world of literature. In my two Michigan laboratories, writers have been innovating this year. Yes, that’s right — while you have been at home Tweeting away and microwaving burritos, writers have created a fleet of original characters for my latest line of publications. These writers are younger than the traditional published author (many of my contemporaries came-of-age in their mid-to-upper 80s), but as you know, Blotch Books has always thrived on experimentation. And so, many of these writers come from elementary school classes in Detroit, Ypsilanti, and Ann Arbor — over 800 students to date.

So, far, I and I alone have trained them to use their imaginations for my profit. And now I share a snippet of their hard work below. Read on to encounter Dr. Blotch’s List of Wildly Imaginative and Enthralling Character Names, Settings, and Problems! Since you have likely not been stimulated to this extent before in your lives, prepare your tastes to develop exponentially.

Each character and premise below has been carefully crafted by verdant young minds. I challenge you to wake from your drooling over cat videos to imagine an ending to any of these stories! Can you fathom one? I doubt it. But, if you can, then use the Twitter (@826michigan) to send a fitting and creative solution to any of these new field trip stories and my assistants* will use the Internet to get them to me for an inevitable rejection of your subpar work. But! At least it will be good practice for your coarse intellects.

Dr. Blotch’s List of Wildly Imaginative and Enthralling Character Names, Settings, and Problems!

{Read on to discover a sampling of the innovative stories written by elementary school students during field trips to our writing labs in Ann Arbor and Detroit. Experience the thrill of a field trip (without leaving your comfy chair) by writing your own concise ending to any of these story premises and then use the Twitter™ (@826michigan) to send them to Dr. Blotch, where they will inevitably be rejected.}

Mr. Papaya – A talking, papaya sales-cheetah, who lives in a giant papaya house in a forest. He wakes up to discover that his forest is being burned by the Queen of the Dead, so he hops in his golden Lamborghini to save his home. From The Burning Forest, Underground Castle, and Misled Princess: The Papaya Problem from Ms. Chico’s Second Grade Class at Bennett Elementary.

Nub-Nub and Basuna –  two very unique, old friends. Nub-Nub, a Zalien (a robotic alien), and Basuna, a scorpion with special powers, spend time in Japan, in a magical cupcake library, where they check out magical cupcakes that can transport them to new places. How will they find the right cupcake to take them to South America to visit their friend Ellie the Owl? From an original story by Ms. Seavitt’s Second Grade Class at Thurston Elementary

Dr. Pat Jack and Dr. Jen Pepper – Two marine biologists who work in a beach lab next to a chemical warehouse. Dr. Pat Jack is serious, Dr. Jen Pepper is clumsy, but they both love to have fun. Dr. Jen Pepper accidentally spills chemicals on Dr. Pat Jack and turns him into a half-human half-cat creature (split right down the middle). How will Dr. Jen Pepper get Dr. Pat Jack back to normal before the science fair they are hosting that evening? From MEOWCH! By Ms. Hawkin’s Third Grade Class at Schulze Academy.

Michelangelo the Golden Chicken – the brightest and shiniest golden chicken in a world of silver chickens who don’t appreciate his difference. He follows a dinosaur to a cave filled with spiders in hopes of making new friends. How will he make it through the creepy place and will he find friendship there? From an original story by Ms. Valerio and Ms. Kemp’s First Grade Classes at Erickson Elementary

Bobby – A bald, one-year-old baby who can build robots and communicate with electronics. He has a golden robot companion named Shamona that he built in his secret hideout, the Detroit Statue of Liberty (it’s like the regular statue of liberty, but it has sharks all over it). He flies around the galaxy in a bus-jet. On his way to the laundromat on the sun, he is ambushed by aliens from Jupiter. Can he get back to his hideout before the aliens steal him? From Bald Baby Bobby and Shamona in Space: Ice Cream Battle at the Detroit Statue of Liberty from Ms. Boyer’s First Grade Class at Detroit Achievement Academy.

A ten-mile long horse – On a the grounds of a castle in the middle of winter, there lives at 10-mile long horse that eats birdseed. That is all we know about this horse. From Mario is Missing: Recovering Your Shelf-Esteem from Ms. Campagner’s First Grade Class at Detroit Achievement Academy.

*My assistants urge you to use a Hashtag when you deliver the Tweet. I suggest #DrBlotchHasTaughtMeEverything, or perhaps, the concise and direct #BlotchTaught.

 

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