The first thing we want you to know about Ivan Mayerhofer is that he has a t-shirt that has a picture of toast on it. Those of you who are aware of our series of Writing about Toast workshops knows that this instantly made him dear to us. But that’s not even the best part of the shirt. Do you know what that piece of toast is doing? Friends, it’s spreading jelly on itself.
And thus is your introduction to the wonderful and charming Ivan Mayerhofer.
Ivan has been with us for a while now, and in addition to bring incredibly sweet and funny—you know, just one of those genuinely nice, big-hearted people—he’s a natural tutor. He has an easy, thoughtful way with kids and, more importantly, when you have a big exam to study for or three pages of math homework, a calming presence.
Okay, now that we’ve got all that mumbo-jumbo out of the way, we can tell you the main reason we picked Ivan this month. It’s his virility. Sure, we knew Ivan was strapping (you know, in that I-can-pull-off-wearing-a-t-shirt-on-which-toast-jellies-itself kind of way), but it wasn’t until this past spring that we saw the sort of facial hair he can grow. That’s right, Ivan participated in our Mustache-a-Thon, and pretty much unofficially won the Manliest Stache Award, which doesn’t actually exist, but, well, behold:
That is the kind of mustache that would get up in the morning, make some toast, and then demand that the toast cover itself in grape jelly, if you get what I’m saying. And the toast would do it, immediately. It’s also the kind of mustache that demonstrates “juxtaposition,” as in: what in the world is such an angry looking mustache doing on such a sweet looking face? This is the first time we’ve ever picked a volunteer of the month based on virility. (Between us, the stache made us do it.)
Can you believe we made it this long without gushing about his name? Readers of this blog know that we have a long-standing tradition of volunteers of the month with incredible names. I mean, it sounds made up. It’s a spy name, a character in a James Bond movie, a name, yes, befitting such a macho display of facial hair.
Ivan, we love your name, we love your mustache, and, more importantly, we love YOU. Thanks for everything you do for us!